Step two: Fill bag with nitrogen

Or any inert gas of your choice. Or I suppose you could use any gas at all. Do it. Fill that bad boy with hydrogen and oxygen. What can go wrong?

Then you jam your arms through the inverted gloves and bodge your way through what should be an incredibly fiddly and precise but of science, but when every movement compresses the air so that you feel increased forces the further in you reach, and the bag is not quite transparent, meaning you can't see if the pipette has anything in it at all, it's quite tricky.

Then let it sit for at least sixteen hours. The little cardboard box which formerly held lemsip knock offs is to protect my reaction from stray UV.

Step one: Fill bag with science

This is actually quite hard, as things get knocked over. Delicate things. And samples flip upside down.

Then you seal it off with the handy clips, and...

Finally! A gum just for me

This originated somewhere in New York. Although the real story here is how damn difficult it is to upload photos to a blogger account on Android. Surely a smart phone should make this easier? But the browser really struggles with images being put inside it. I kind of miss my old phone and how simple it was.

Ah well, getting images onto a computer is not so bad. I WILL SURVIVE.

Village whale

What to do when some unknown terror from the dead lands upon your beach one morning? Put the remains in a park next to town hall!

So it took me most of a day...

...but I'm still quite proud of how it turned out

Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man

I sort of ended up commentating while trying out my new safety razor (it's a Merkur 38C for those in the know).

me: I'm about to try and use my new razor, so I may die

Brother: why is a cutthroat?

me: if so, tell mum and dad that despite appearances, it was no suicide

Brother: is it?

me: No, it's a safety razor. Which is the worst name i.e. one that takes actual razor blades

Friend: SO, I am thinking. Perhaps it's a glorious idea to roll over to the [Staff Bar] in a bit?

me: I'm in my bathroom, I just got out of the shower. I'm wearing a self heating facemask

Friend: I see, I see. Why the facemask?

me: Oh, I had one from a set of shaving things for christmas. It seems prepping is really important. Also, I'm totally naked. How do you like that?

Friend: fantastic. I'm in my office. So I'm pretty clothed right now

me: My word, using a shaving brush is fun.

Friend: You should be blogging about this experience.

[two or three minutes pass]

me: Okay. I'm bleeding

[a few more]

me:

What I am currently listening to

Friend: bleeding already eh?

[another couple]

me: And I think we'll call that a day. Mainly I've got some big cuts around my throat. It looks good, but it's uneven to the touch. Some bits are incredibly smooth. Others have that post-mach3 bit of stubblyness. All in all, I'm calling that a massive victory.

Friend: Not bad, not bad.Not sure this music was appropriate for you man ;)

Self fulfilling prophecy

Actually it was a menu

Coffee sink

No, I do not understand either

Does exactly what it says on the tin

Frankly, I am not entirely sure why this made me smile so much. It might have been that the tiny bucket was there for a week or so before somebody decided it needed a label. I worry what it was used for in that time

SWIMMING POOL

Greenhouse!

Transform into...

Voodoo lady

Creme brulee with balsamic vinegar and thyme. Pretty swish. As you have guessed from the plate, I did not make this

Dragon house

Blois can be a bit odd when a seemingly normal house becomes a dragon. I think it may have been something related to a museum. Maybe

No thanks

This is pretty much exactly why british cuisine has such a poor reputation

Prohibitively expensive tuna steak

Lime and soy tuna steak with pea shoots and cucumber couscous. The tuna steak also had some parsley butter. It was great