This is not where I live

Not actually a thing my eyes have seen but a photo taken by my mother and accompanied by the message: "snow jam - day off work". Here in bristol though we just have temperatures so low that all of the oxygen has condensed out of the air. So you are forced to take a deep breath before you head outdoor kept you suffocate. Oh, and the smoking ban has had to be repealed for fear of catastrophic explosions caused by a smouldering fag end dropping into a lurking pool of the rocket fuel.

As we all remember from secondary school chemistry the test for oxygen is that it will relight a glowing splint (or fag end). I would not advise using this as a test for liquid oxygen or even a sizeable amount of the gas (although I did come near to hands on experience with the latter a few years ago when I thought I'd encountered a leaking oxygen cylinder and needed to check).

And yes, that pitiful amount of snow really will bring England down on its knees. Don't tell anybody that they could conquer us with tanks equipped with snow machines. It's not that we're defeatist, it is just that we really enjoy snow, so when we get some we damn well don't have time to go to work.